I'm sad today...

I'm actually exhausted... but I am sad too. First: Dealing with sick patients is part of my job, its routine. Yep, see it every day. Having to cope with a loved one in the hospital that may/may not necessarily be treatable is not routine for me. Shouldn't have to be part of my job. My grandma, who just turned 90 a month ago, has not being doing well and this past week her health took a sharp dive in the wrong direction. Yes, my sweet grandma is in the hospital. She actually was admitted on my floor yesterday evening after an exhausting/overwhelming 12 hrs, right before shift change. Second: Dealing with patients family dynamics in the hospital is part of my job. Deal with it every day, routine... Coping with my own crazy/angry family dynamics over this "controversial" hospitalization... not routine. Shouldn't have to be part of my job.

Yes, I said controversial. Because it currently is controversial in my usual very close/large/ loving family. This loving grandmother raised 6 kids. One daughter is an RN/RT (who married a MD), one a RD (registered dietitian), one a lab technician. Out of those medical children have come other medical grand kids (such as myself, RN, another RD... PA... RN... and the list goes on friends. Those reading this currently in the medical profession understand what I'm talking about when we are talking about completely sitting back and letting nature take its course to a 90 year old DNR woman vs. seeking alternatives, although not invasive (how invasive is non- invasive to a 90 yr old?) to a completely alert and oriented (although lethargic currently), sharp, 90 year old. Is this her old age speaking? or is it something else that could be treatable/non treatable... There is a very fine line friends and my dear family is struggling to find it.